


when you're thinking about me (text 365)

by ladililn



Series: texting 'verse [3]
Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-14
Updated: 2015-12-14
Packaged: 2018-05-06 16:13:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5423579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladililn/pseuds/ladililn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Further adventures in the texting 'verse. This time: Courfeyrac decides to throw Enjolras a surprise party. No one is surprised.</p>
            </blockquote>





	when you're thinking about me (text 365)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm already starting to regret bringing this back, but _too late now._
> 
> As ever, ~~crossed out text means a message was written but not sent.~~ And while past installments consisted entirely of messages sent to/from Grantaire, these are between all sorts of characters. Whee!

_Friday, 4:49 p.m._

**Courfeyrac:** YO WILDCATS

LISTEN UP PEEPS. you know that time it is

THATS RIGHT

**Grantaire:** don’t do it

**Courfeyrac:** YOU GUESSED IT

**Combeferre:** Oh God.

**Courfeyrac:** ITS PARTY TIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

by which i mean enjolras birthday is in a week obvs which means SURPRISE PARTY

**Feuilly:** no

**Combeferre:** No.

**Joly:** COURF NO

**Courfeyrac:** COURF YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

**Grantaire:** courf you do this EVERY YEAR.

HE IS NEVER SURPRISED.

**Courfeyrac:** ah but that is EXACTLY WHY he will be so surprised this year! he will expect us to have given up! to lay down our arms! to lose hope!

**Feuilly:** that’s what you said last year

you had it a week after his birthday and it still didn’t work

it wasn’t even at the musain and he still guessed it

**Joly:** the year before that you forced us to pretend we were throwing a surprise party for musichetta when actually it was for him

which didn’t work because he found out her birthday was in june

**Bossuet:** among other reasons

**Joly:** the year before THAT you said he wouldn’t expect it because he would expect to expect it and thus would think we wouldn’t expect him to expect it and thus wouldn’t expect it

basically

it never works

ever ever courf

enjolras doesn’t even like surprises

also nobody here can keep a secret

also there’s no way he won’t see this coming

bad bad idea

**Courfeyrac:** SO were all in agreement then!!

i already talked to chetta & she said we could rent the corinth for the night

**Bossuet:** that traitor

**Cosette:** I’m in! sounds fun!

**Joly:** no cosette you don’t understand

he does this every year

the first year marius spilled the beans to e and ever since then he’s known

**Grantaire:** i’m with joly. and feuilly. and everyone not courfeyrac

let’s skip it

**Courfeyrac:** R it will be your job to bring him in so to speak

ok we all have our assignments GOOD BREAK

**Feuilly:** what? the only person you’ve given an assignment to so far is R

**Courfeyrac:** SECRET PLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

 

_Friday, 5:31 p.m._

**Enjolras:** so when’s the party

**Grantaire:** saturday night

when are you done with class?

**Enjolras:** 45 minutes, but I might have to talk to the professor after.

**Grantaire:** are you gonna let courf know you know about the party

**Enjolras:** no, it’s best not to dampen his excitement at this point

**Grantaire:** you should practice your surprised face

last year’s wasn’t very good

**Enjolras:** actually last year’s was entirely genuine

I hadn’t expected Courfeyrac to be wearing quite so little clothing

**Grantaire:** yeah the feather boa was def eye catching

**Enjolras:** whatever you do, please don’t let him try a theme again this year. it took me weeks to get all that glitter out of my hair, and a lot of it still lives at the bottom of my backpack.

**Grantaire:** too late. he’s already ordered a coconut bra

**Enjolras:** goddammit

_49 minutes later_

**Enjolras:** on my way home. managed to reschedule my meeting with Lamarque for Sunday. luckily I’d already warned him this might happen so it wasn’t too hard.

(your voicemail is full, by the way)

**Grantaire:** hold on

this might be something

 

_Friday, 6:30 p.m._

**Grantaire:** bad news, courf. e has a meeting on sat. that he can’t resched. he’s busy friday too with some other thing. sounds like we might have to pack it in and try again next year

what a bummer. but can’t be helped

**Courfeyrac:** WHAT???????/ NEVERRRRRRRR

 

_Friday, 6:33 p.m._

**Courfeyrac:** heyyyy buddy. hows tricks???

**Enjolras:** tricks are good, Courf. how are you?

**Courfeyrac:** cool cool coooool.

anywho what are you doing next saturday??

i only ask bc R keeps texting me

and im just afraid he might be feeling a lil neglected

i mean youre so busy these days what with les amis and the classes and the stuff and the blah

totes understandable

but

i think someones missing the company of his boyf u feel

anyway whatever youre doing next saturday if anything is something you should cancel probably

for Rs sake

i just feel like that would be a really good thing for you to do

for R

nbd or anything but

yeah

**Enjolras:** I’ll keep that in mind.

**Courfeyrac:** cool cool cool

do

**Enjolras:** in fact, you’re probably right.

I’m going to suggest to R that we spend the night in and not leave for any reason

he might protest, but I think it’s really important to have those nights where you’re really just focused on each other, not letting yourselves get distracted by the outside world, just kind of completely barricade yourselves indoors. and you’re right, I think that next Saturday is the perfect time to do that.

thanks for the suggestion, Courf.

_5 minutes later_

**Courfeyrac:** COOL COOL COOL COOL COOL NO DOUBT NO DOUBT NO DOUBT

GLAD I COULD HEL

P

 

_Friday, 6:49 p.m._

**Grantaire:** so?

**Enjolras:** the party is definitely a go, unless Courfeyrac suffers a stress-induced heart attack before then.

**Grantaire:** damn. well, i tried.

**Enjolras:** I’m actually looking forward to it. in a resigned sort of way.

do you want me to pick up Chinese food?

**Grantaire:** yes please

 

_Sunday, 3:23 p.m._

**Courfeyrac:** hey do you know what e’s fav flavor of cake is?

**Combeferre:** Do you not know?

**Courfeyrac:** why would i be asking you if i knew? do YOU not not know?

wait no

do you not not not know?

there it is

**Combeferre:** I’m afraid I have no idea.

**Courfeyrac:** why is he such a fucking mystery?? how long have we known him, collectively? like forty years?

**Combeferre:** Not forty, no. But point taken.

**Courfeyrac:** last year i got him red velvet and when i asked how he liked it he said fine

i mean

?????

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT

i SPECIFICALLY REMEMBER him liking the red velvet cupcakes at cosettes first may day picnic thing but when i brought that up he said he had NO RECOLLECTION OF THOSE CUPCAKES

I MEAN

WHAT

last month we were at a polisci dept event and there was a whole smorgasbord of dessert options and do you know what i saw him eating

CARROT CAKE

CARROT CAKE COMBEFERRE

WHAT HUMAN PERSON ON GODS GREEN EARTH LIKES CARROT CAKE I ASK YOU

**Combeferre:** I like carrot cake.

**Courfeyrac:** dont even get me started on the way he has done a complete 180 on maple bar donuts since 7th grade

i dont wanna talk about it

**Combeferre:** Why don’t you just ask him what kind of cake he prefers?

**Courfeyrac:** dont be absurd. then hed KNOW

**Combeferre:** I’m pretty sure he knows already.

**Courfeyrac:** HE HAS NO FUCKING IDEA OKAY

ITS A SURPRISE PARTY GODDAMN

 

_Sunday, 3:40 p.m._

**Courfeyrac:** do you happen to know enjolras’ fav flavor of cake?

**Grantaire:** no.

**Courfeyrac:** are you just saying no because you dont want to help me with the party because youre an ornery little shit?

**Grantaire:** no

**Courfeyrac:** hmmmmmmmmmmm

 

_Sunday, 3:45 p.m._

**Courfeyrac:** hey bud, do you have any idea what enjolras’ fav flavor of cake is?

**Marius:** no, not off the top of my head. combeferre or R might know

i know he likes pies

**Courfeyrac:** this is a tropical themed party

pies are inadmissible

thank u for ur time

 

_Sunday, 3:58 p.m._

**Courfeyrac:** hey whats your favorite candle scent

**Enjolras:** what?

**Courfeyrac:** you know

in your personal opinion

what is the best smelling candle

like they have vanilla and chocolate and lemon and rum etc.

**Enjolras:** are those candle scents? I don’t think I’ve ever encountered a rum-scented candle

**Courfeyrac:** <http://www.beautybar.com/p/malin-goetz-dark-rum-candle-75414>

**Enjolras:** Jesus Christ. who pays $52 for a candle?

**Courfeyrac:** rich people

lets stay on topic here

**Enjolras:** I can’t say that I’ve ever given any thought to my favorite candle scent. why do you ask?

**Courfeyrac:** just thinking of buying some new candles for the apt

and you know how much i value your opinion

**Enjolras:** the last time I commented on your cooking you said I could quote “go boil [my] head in an oven” end quote

and then when I said generally you don’t boil things in an oven you said “nobody cares about your opinion, Satan”

**Courfeyrac:** hahahahahahaha

yeah

anyway

what do you think??

**Enjolras:** well, my mother used to keep a potpourri-scented candle on her desk that I liked the smell of.

**Courfeyrac:** gross

who eats potpourri

**Enjolras:** you’re not supposed to eat candles, Courf.

it’s important to me that you know that.

**Courfeyrac:** no of course not EL OH EL

anyway while were on the subject what are your favorite flavors of each of the following: chapstick, oreos, magic markers, flavored lube, taffy?

**Enjolras:** I think we’ll have to continue this super fun survey later, R and I are going to see a movie.

real quick, though, I’ll put a word in for bacon-flavored lube. a recently discovered favorite.

 

_Sunday, 4:17 p.m._

**Courfeyrac:** do bacon flavored cakes exist???

**Combeferre:** Not to my knowledge, no.

Probably somebody has tried it at some point, but I can’t imagine the results were very good.

Does Enjolras even eat bacon?

**Courfeyrac:** maybe??????? idk. he said he liked bacon flavored LUBE, of all things

and now i have to add brain bleach to my extensive shopping list

ugh

**Combeferre:** Has it ever occurred to you that he might be messing with you on purpose?

**Courfeyrac:** inconceivable

enjolras loves me too much to ever lie to me

and he doesnt know about the party OBVIOUSLY, so how would he even know to mess with me?

**Combeferre:** Okay.

Let’s just not overdo things, okay?

I don’t want you having another mental breakdown like you did last year when it turned out Bahorel didn’t have the Nicki Minaj song you wanted.

**Courfeyrac:** ok several things

first of all his name was not bahorel, for the purposes of this convo he was dj bass reflex

second it was not a mental breakdown, just mere drunken disappointment. which manifested in a loud and messy manner. bc i am a loud and messy drunk

third i already sent dj bass reflex my tropical themed playlist for this yr so were all good

it begins AND ALSO ENDS with kokomo

_2 minutes later_

**Combeferre:** I ordered a chocolate cake with funfetti frosting. It’ll be ready for pickup Friday afternoon.

**Courfeyrac:** thank you

 

_Tuesday, 10:06 p.m._

**Courfeyrac:** whats up my party people

are all assignments going well

and by well i mean perfect

and by perfect i mean spectacularly

**Cosette:** all’s going well on this end! :)

**Bahorel:** yeh

**Combeferre:** Like I said, the cake will be ready on Friday. So until then, no change in status.

**Feuilly:** the corinth already has plates, napkins, cups, etc. chetta confirmed. so i guess yes, if “well” means “i decided to do nothing”

**Marius:** i still don’t really get my assignment, courf. what does “balloons, but not the creepy kind, the cool kind” mean? what sort of balloons do you consider creepy?

**Jehan:** i haven’t been able to find an ice sculpture within your $10 budget. i do have an artist friend who creates beautiful sculptures out of yarn, soap, and human saliva. would you like me to contact her?

**Bossuet:** unfortunately my assignment is already broken. but we think we can fix it.

**Joly:** i’m not going to get the torches you wanted, courf, because they’re an indoor fire hazard

please rethink the flaming shots idea too

i’m going to bring an extra fire extinguisher just in case

**Grantaire:** booze acquired

somebody else is gonna have to get mixers/chasers though

**Eponine:** you never gave me an assignment you piece of shit

**Courfeyrac:** excellent!!!!!!

okay dont forget to send me your video clips

try for one funny anecdote and one heartwarming enjolras related memory

pls send them by wed so i have time to edit them together into what will surely be the citizen kane of our times

only better

(i still havent seen citizen kane)

**Jehan:** you haven’t?? we should watch it together! it’s such a classic piece of cinema <3

**Grantaire:** rosebud is the dude’s sled

_Wednesday, 11:18 p.m._

**Courfeyrac:** omg i cant believe you ruined this movie for me

rosebud is like the whole main mystery thing

u dick

**Grantaire:** i’ve actually never seen it

 

_Thursday, 11:14 a.m._

**Courfeyrac:** hey so whats your plan to distract enjolras & get him to the corinth??

**Grantaire:** ummmm

sex?

**Courfeyrac:** youre going to sex him to the corinth?

**Grantaire:** …i guess?

**Courfeyrac:** just try to think of ways to work against his suspicion as much as possible

like what if

wAIT

WHAT IF THERE WAS A DECOY PARTY

LIKE A SURPRISE PARTY BEFORE THE MAIN SURPRISE PARTY AND WERE REALLY OBVIOUS ABOUT IT AND IT ALL FALLS APART AND WE PRETEND TO BE ALL OH NOES YOU GUESSED IT OUR PARTY FELL APART SADFACE WHAT A DISASTER LETS CALL IT QUITS

and then just when weve lulled him into this false sense of security

BAM

THE REAL MOTHERFUCKING SURPRISE PARTY

SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER

IT’S A PARTY

omg this is genius

do we have time in the next two days to throw together an elaborate decoy party

_3 minutes later_

**Grantaire:** gosh what an interesting idea

i’d say no fucking way but i doubt that’d make a difference

_Thursday, 11:19 a.m._

**Courfeyrac:** do we have time in the next two days to put together an elaborate pre-party decoy party ruse

to throw enjolras off the scent of the REAL party party?

**Combeferre:** To be honest, that’s a pretty brilliant idea.

But no. We don’t have the time. This party is elaborate enough as it is. Maybe next year, we can do it properly.

**Courfeyrac:** oh come ooonnnnnnnnnn. its not even that elaborate

**Combeferre:** You’ve hired students from the Polynesian Dance Troupe to perform a hula dance. Marius accidentally ordered 300 balloons instead of 30. And I already cancelled your order of 50 bags of sand from Home Depot, because there’s no way we’d be able to clean it all up.

**Courfeyrac:** damn

fine

but you should know im already brainstorming for next years party and its going to be EPIC

and i use that word unironically

**Combeferre:** I would expect nothing less.

 

_Thursday, 11:25 a.m._

**Courfeyrac:** fine so no decoy party

but pls carry out your distraction and transportation duties to the very best of your ability

**Grantaire:** right

**Courfeyrac:** sidenote i still have not received a video clip from you

its almost done but you! are the key!! ingredient!!! winky face

**Grantaire:** winky face?

**Courfeyrac:** enjolras thinks i use too many emojis and has instituted a 6 week ban

he even had feuilly deactivate them on my phone

your boyfriend is a cruel man

 

_Thursday, 11:47 a.m._

**Grantaire:** can i confess something stupid to you

**Joly:** always

**Grantaire:** ~~okay so i~~

**Joly:** i should probs tell you i’m not joly tho

**Grantaire:** wait what

**Joly:** its eponine

joly’s giving me a ride home and i’m waiting in the car while he’s in line at the post office

i’ve been going thru his glove compartment

dude has a shitton of bandaids in here

and kleenex

and the entire discography of alanis morrisette???

**Grantaire:** wait while you’re there does he still have my bleachers cd

**Joly:** ummm

shit hold on joly’s running out of battery i’m switching to my phone

**Eponine:** yes

he has your bleacher cd

god you fucking hipster

**Grantaire:** you can’t just call me a hipster every time i mention a band you don’t know

**Eponine:** yes i fucking can

anyway what’s your confession?? gimme gimme

**Grantaire:** uh

**Eponine:** don’t you dare say its something you can tell joly but not me

**Grantaire:** it’s not that it’s just

well

ep. have i ever made you feel better about any problem you have ever had ever

**Eponine:**???

**Grantaire:** think about it

have we ever provided each other comfort

or do we just end up wining about our problems and drowning in self pity

*whining

no actually wining works

**Eponine:** hmm

you may be right

**Grantaire:** ep you are always the first one i go to if i want someone to be bitter with me

**Eponine:** that’s so sweet

**Grantaire:** but rn i think i need ball of sunshine joly to tell me i’m being stupid u feel

**Eponine:** i feel

i only hate you a little

**Grantaire:** thank

**Eponine:** god this is taking forever

when will joly return from the war

i wanna listen to the new adele cd but i cant figure out how his fucking stereo works

ugh

**Grantaire:** just try turning on literally any radio channel

**Eponine:** SIGH WHATEVER

anyway are you psched for e’s party or what

**Grantaire:** sure

**Eponine:** …k

 

_Thursday, 12:20 p.m._

**Joly:** hey! just dropped off eponine at her place. so what’s your secret shameful confession?

**Grantaire:** i just think adele is really overrated

**Joly:** TAKE THAT BACK

_1 minute later_

you can’t fool me i know that’s not it

spill

**Grantaire:** it’s really stupid

**Joly:** no it’s not

your feelings are valid smiley face

**Grantaire:** did enjolras take away your emojis too??

**Joly:** oops. yeah

courf relapsed last week

he stole my phone and texted enjolras an endless stream of emojis

no words or anything

just emojis

for like half an hour

so now i don’t have them either

**Grantaire:** you need to stop leaving your phone everywhere

**Joly:** possibly

**Grantaire:** anyway

ok this is really stupid but here goes

you may have noticed that i haven’t been super…supportive of courf’s party planning

**Joly:** has anyone?

**Grantaire:** fair point

i just

argh this is dumb

i mean to begin with, you know, i have the same thoughts as everybody else, that this party is a mini disaster year after year and he always knows it’s coming and he doesn’t even like surprises that much etc

stuff we’re all thinking

**Joly:** right

**Grantaire:** but this year it’s also…

like

i don’t know how to explain it and it’s also really dumb haha

**Joly:** don’t you start hahaing on me

i will not go down that road with you again

spit it out

**Grantaire:** ~~fine haha~~

fine

i just feel like i’m maybe

lowkey

jealous of courf?

ugh i feel like i’m in middle school

**Joly:** no keep going

**Grantaire:** it’s just…i’m dating enjolras, right?

**Joly:** absolutely

**Grantaire:** and i mean when it was chetta’s bday you and bossuet planned it, and when it was marius’ bday cosette planned it etc

it’s just

courf is putting so much into this fuckng party

and i get it it’s courf and he and e have known each other forever etc etc

it’s not even really about him

i just feel. useless. i guess

(which is hardly new haha)

(sorry)

it’s just i’m technically his boyfriend and i guesss i just feel like i should be doing a better job

i still don’t even know what i’m getting him present wise because nothing seems good enough or fitting

idk i’m not doing a very good job of explaining it

i just don’t think i’m very good at being e’s boyfriend

you know

**Joly:** ~~no i don’t know~~

~~stop being so hard on yourself all the time~~

~~you’re perfectly fine. great ev~~

~~all the time you’re so~~

~~youre being stupid~~

OKAY i’m just going to call you and you had BETTER pick up R so help me god

_Thursday, 5:50 p.m._

**Joly:** oh and one more thing i forgot to mention

stop worrying about finding the perfect present for e or whatever

there is no perfect present

just get him something that you can enjoy together. like theater tickets or a museum membership or a fucking trip to six flags

as long as you’re spending time together

**Grantaire:** that’s cheesy as fuck

**Joly:** i know and i don’t fucking care

**Grantaire:** damn joly

okay

thanks

♥

**Joly:** heart emoji

 

_Friday, 4:51 p.m._

**Courfeyrac:** did all go well with picking up the cake?? did they spell his name right

haha jk

did they spell his name not too terribly wrong

**Enjolras:** what cake?

**Courfeyrac:** ~~SHIT~~

_2 minutes later_

**Courfeyrac:** oops sorry texted the wrong person

its the cake for my cousins brother

he just got a promotion so were all celebrating with cake!!

**Enjolras:** wouldn’t your cousin’s brother also be your cousin?

**Courfeyrac:** ~~well if you arent just a regular sherlock fucking holmes~~

haha totally

anyway

what are you up to?

**Enjolras:** just hanging out at R’s

I was thinking about what you said earlier, and seeing how it’s my birthday on Monday, I was thinking maybe we should go out of town for the rest of the weekend

just kind of get away for a while, you know?

_6 minutes later_

**Courfeyrac:** hahahaha yep!! sounds like fun!!! giant smiley face!!!!

 

_Friday, 5:04 p.m._

**Courfeyrac:** IF YOU LET ENJOLRAS LEAVE TOWN FOR THE WEEKEND I WILL PERSONALLY CUT YOUR BALLS OFF AND SERVE THEM TO YOU ON A PLATE

ANGRY FACE EMOJI

**Grantaire:** jesus christ

 

_Friday, 5:15 p.m._

**Combeferre:** Could you please lay off Courfeyrac about the party stuff? He just called me in near-hysterics.

I get that it’s funny, and I obviously don’t think there’s any serious danger to his mental health—I know of no one more emotionally resilient—but he does really care about this. I’m sure he knows that you’re just teasing him, but he’s also doing his best to remain in deep denial regarding your knowledge of the party.

Just do your best to ignore him until this whole thing is over.

And please try to act surprised.

**Enjolras:** you’re right, I’m sorry. thanks for the wakeup call

see you tomorrow

(please don’t be wearing a coconut bra)

 

_Friday, 11:11 p.m._

**Courfeyrac:** YOOOOOOO WILDCATS :D :D :D

i just want to say thank you :) :) :) :) :)

you have worked so hard and this party would not be possible without the contributions of every last one of you :’) :’) ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ :’) :’)

its all come together so beautifully and i think tomorrow is gonna be gr8 \o/

delicious food  cool music♩♭♪♫♬ bitchin decorations ❀✿

you’re all stars in my book ✭ ✭ ✭

go team! :) :) :) :) ♥♥❀✿✭✭ :D :D :D :D :D

 

_Friday, 11:12 p.m._

**Grantaire:** please pleae please take away courf’s emoji privileges again

i beg of you

**Combeferre:** Seconded.

**Eponine:** THIRDED SO HARD

**Bossuet:** fourthed. (and fifthed and sixthed from joly and chetta respectively)

**Enjolras:** I can’t do that. he has the right to text however he likes. I’m not a dictator

**Grantaire:** HA

**Feuilly:** don’t worry guys, i’m on it

 

_Saturday, 7:12 a.m._

**Courfeyrac:** HAPPY PARTY DAY PEOPLEEEEEEEEEE ������

**Bahorel:** what the fuc

**Eponine:** ITS SEVEN FUCKING AM

THE PARTYS NOT FOR ANOTHER 14 HOURS

I WLL MURDER YOU

**Courfeyrac:** ����

wait what happened to my emojis???? ���

�

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

_Saturday, 5:20 p.m._

**Enjolras:** so what’s the plan for this totally innocuous night like any other?

**Grantaire:** well i’m in charge of distraction/delivery of the birthday boy so

in a couple hours i come over

we order thai food

we bang probs

and then, as it approaches 9…

omg!! i suddenly remember that i left my wallet in the corinth and we have to go get it right tf now immediately!!

we enter. silence. darkness. and then: SURPRISE! IT’S A PARTY! COURF’S IN A GRASS SKIRT WITH NOTHING BENEATH IT

happy bday to you

**Enjolras:** I can live with this plan

more or less

the thai food and sex part is good

I’m actively dreading the Courfeyrac part, though

**Grantaire:** you need to learn to embrace your fear

 

_Saturday, 7:26 p.m._

**Courfeyrac:** is the target acquired???

**Grantaire:** if you mean am i with enjolras, yes

**Courfeyrac:** good!!! be cool!!!!

**Grantaire:** okay!!!!! i’ll try!!!!!!

**Courfeyrac:** ….i feel like youre mocking me

AND I LOVE IT

SEE YOU SOON

_53 minutes later_

**Courfeyrac:** okay we have hit some minor snags with setting things up etc so it might be best if you get here later than planned

just like 910ish okay?

_3 minutes later_

uh make that 912ish

_1 minute later_

lets say 915 just to be safe

things are very

here

_2 minutes later_

PLZ RESPOND

**Grantaire:** oh good, we were going to be late anyway

our food just got here

**Courfeyrac:** i cant believe you were going to be late anyway how dare you

 youd better not be late now except for the lateness i have already prescribed

 

_Saturday, 8:37 p.m._

**Feuilly:** hey, do you hear that weird noise? kind of a whiny hiss?

(i’m texting you because i don’t want to freak courf out with another potential problem if there isn’t actually one)

**Bossuet:** hmmm

yes

**Feuilly:** what do you think it is?

 

_Saturday, 8:38 p.m._

**Feuilly:** okay, let’s all try to find the source of that hissing sound. try not to be obvious about it

**Marius:** is it coming from the lights?

**Eponine:** idk it really doesn’t sound tech  related

**Bossuet:** maybe it’s steam slowly escaping courfeyrac’s ears

**Feuilly:** not helping

**Cosette:** I might have found it? I think the inflatable palm tree I’m standing next to right now has sprung a leak

**Feuilly:** shit, okay. duct tape?

**Eponine:** i’ll ask musichetta

**Cosette:** hurry!!

**Feuilly:** damn yeah it’s starting to look pretty flaccid

somebody distract courf with something shiny

like a one direction song or a kitten

 

_Saturday, 8:51 p.m._

**Courfeyrac:** WHERE ARE YOU????

**Marius:** in the bathroom, what’s wrong??

**Courfeyrac:** oh okay

sorry i forgot you were already here and panicked

**Marius:** we just had a whole conversation five minutes ago. i helped you move tables.

**Courfeyrac:** IM VERY STRESSED LEAVE ME ALONE

please come out here i need you

 

_Saturday, 8:57 p.m._

**Courfeyrac:** WHERE ARE YOU WHY ARENT YOU BACK YET

_1 minute later_

**Combeferre:** I’m two minutes away, stopped at a red light. The first place was out of stock, so I had to go to the Apple store on seventh. Honestly, it might’ve been quicker to make the trip home, but too late now.

Anyway, cord acquired.

**Courfeyrac:** COME BACK BE HERE

THIS IS THE LAST TIME IM ASKING YOU THIS

I WISH YOU WOULD COME BACK

I WISH YOU WERE RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW

**Combeferre:** Are you quoting Taylor Swift lyrics at me again?

**Courfeyrac:** you noticed!!

dj bass reflex is sTILL NOT HERE so ive been blasting tswift thru the corinth speakers to calm me

its not working

 

_Saturday, 9:00 p.m._

**Courfeyrac:** okay are you on your way???

gimme a status update just say where you are

_4 minutes later_

**Courfeyrac:** R!!!!!

 

_Saturday, 9:03 p.m._

**Courfeyrac:** joly where are you

**Joly:** getting chetta’s purse from the car. why?

**Courfeyrac:** can you also grab your firstaid kit. bahorel showed up and he has black eye

**Joly:**?????

**Courfeyrac:**!!!!!!!

**Joly:** /

**Courfeyrac:** WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

**Joly:** that was an accident

omw

 

_Saturday, 9:11 p.m._

**Courfeyrac:** okay i aSSUME youre on your way and are almost here

(PLZ RESPOND)

but maybe delay by like an extra. two minutes. thats it

like 917ish

PLZ CONFIRM

PLEASE

 

_Saturday, 9:15 p.m._

**Combeferre:** We’ve been instructed not to call in case that would “arouse Enjolras’ suspicions.”

Are you nearly here? Courfeyrac is getting worried.

Well. “Getting.”

 

_Saturday, 9:16 p.m._

**Combeferre:** Hey, are you on your way yet for the non-event you know nothing about? We haven’t heard anything from R.

 

_Saturday, 9:18 p.m._

**Eponine:** WHERE ARE YOU WE’RE ALL HIDING AND IT’S THE WORST MY KNEES HURT

don’t you dare make a joke about that

 

_Saturday, 9:20 p.m._

**Marius:** R?

 

_Saturday, 9:20 p.m._

**Joly:** everything ok???

 

_Saturday, 9:27 p.m._

**Courfeyrac:** ������������������������������������

 

_Saturday, 9:34 p.m._

**Combeferre:** You’re not picking up. Is everything all right? We’re all waiting on your update.

 

_Saturday, 9:36 p.m._

**Grantaire:** on our way

**Courfeyrac:** WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT HAPPENED

**Grantaire:** sorry we lost track of time a little

**Courfeyrac:** DOING

WHAT

**Grantaire:** um

**Courfeyrac:** SHUT THE FUCK UP

YOU FUCKING NO GOOD SEX CRAZED ANIMAL

S

I WOULD BE PROUD IF I WERENT SO MAD

**Grantaire:** sorry sorry

we’re on our way okay

10 min. 15 tops

**Courfeyrac:** UGH

at least tell me he has no idea

**Grantaire:** sure

doesn’t suspect a thing

_3 minutes later_

**Courfeyrac:** okay imma need you to give me updates every sixty seconds for me to feel secure about this

**Grantaire:** ~~all goi~~

_30 seconds later_

**Courfeyrac:** HELLO?????

 

_Saturday, 9:41 p.m._

**Joly:** you’d better get here soon, the ice sculpture is nearly completely melted

granted, it’s just a bunch of ice cubes courf stacked into what he insists is the shape of enjolras’ head, but still

where are you??

 

_Saturday, 9:41 p.m._

**Jehan:** everything all right? <3

 

_Saturday, 9:42 p.m._

**Enjolras:** did you do this?

**Courfeyrac:** ~~DID I DO WHAT~~

did i do what?

~~WHERE ARE Y~~

idle curiosity what are you guys up to

?

_3 minutes later_

**Courfeyrac:** e??????

ENJOLRAS????????

 

_Saturday, 9:49 p.m._

**Eponine:** if you guys got distracted by more sex, i will kill you myself

also we’ve started to eat e’s cake

you don’t get any

 

_Saturday, 9:57 p.m._

**Joly:** we’re all starting to get seriously worried. where are you??

 

_Saturday, 9:57 p.m._

**Bahorel:** where

 

_Saturday, 9:57 p.m._

**Marius:** are you guys okay?

 

_Saturday, 9:58 p.m._

**Courfeyrac:** ~~cause baby now we got bad blood~~

 

_Saturday, 9:58 p.m._

**Enjolras:** hey, we’re alive

**Combeferre:** Well that’s good news. Why aren’t you picking up your phone? What’s going on?

**Enjolras:** flat tire

**Combeferre:** Really? Do you need someone to come help you?

_5 minutes later_

**Enjolras:** where are you?

**Combeferre:** ASKLJFDASDKFL;EKLJDSAGHJKAHGIWHNADSKLFJSAKL WHERE ARE FYCKKIGN YOU

Sorry. Courfeyrac grabbed my phone when I said I got a text from you. We’re at the Corinth.

**Enjolras:** R says he “really did” leave his wallet at the Musain, so I figured he was finally playing along and the party was being held there

but we got there and there was no one

and now we’ve missed the bus supposedly

I’m genuinely confused

what part of this whole thing am I not getting?

is there another layer of subterfuge that I don’t know about?

**Combeferre:** Not that I’m aware of. I’ll check with Courfeyrac.

**Enjolras:** R insists not but I’m not sure

~~there is a party, right?~~

 

_Saturday, 10:03 p.m._

**Coufeyrac:** are you using the preparty failed party party ruse??? DONT YOU DARE

THATS FOR NEXT YEAR

R ANSWER MEEEEEEE

_2 minutes later_

**Grantaire:** it’s a long story

**Courfeyrac:** HA

**Grantaire:** we’re on our way

**Courfeyrac:** i dont believe u

_7 minutes later_

**Grantaire:** we’re here. hide

**Courfeyrac:** ~~I’ll believe it when I hear~~

 

_Sunday, 12:12 a.m._

**Grantaire:** you throw a mean party, courf

seriously, you’re the best

**Courfeyrac:** where are u  come back

were doing jello shost

 

_Sunday, 10:57 a.m._

**Courfeyrac:** HA YOU WERE SO SURPRISED

ITS BEEN TWELVE HOURS AND IM STILL DYING @ UR FACE

GOTCHA

**Enjolras:** you do realize that my surprise was not about the fact of the party but the way I was immediately tackled to the ground by ten people upon entering the room

**Courfeyrac:** WHATEVS

anyway were def not throwing you a surprise party next year so you can just retire your expectations right now mister

**Enjolras:** noted

**Courfeyrac:** ;)


End file.
